The Nerve of Ugandan Boda Boda Men

Normally when you get a boda boda its all about getting from point A to point B. Well scratch that maybe not entirely, it’s also a gender thing I mean when I get a boda it’s always how little I can give the guy for the longest distance possible using my feminine charms and penny saving schemes. As for guys or so am told its about getting the fastest boda guy money can buy, fighting Kampala traffic, wind blowing through non-existent hair and getting to the meet place before your dream girl so you can tell her how your car broke down and it’s just around the corner (guy I once went out with did it, it was amusing to see him squirm with embarrassment when I caught him)

But back to what got me here; it was one of those nights where I had conflicting reception parties to attend but thankfully Nakawa and Kololo are neighbours. On my way back from 7 trees, slightly drunk from just a bit of wine (does half a bottle constitute as little?), elated from meeting old friends and wedding blues the boda rider stopped side by side to an Audi driven by this hot Indian giving me the eye. Of course I noticed but didn’t think the boda guy noticed it too but as soon as we turned it was all he started to talk about. Now usually I like the riders to just shut up and get me to my final destination but with this one could not keep a lid on it.
His story started with how many white women he had slept with and how good they felt in places I don’t care to repeat and subsequently how they always begged for more. I was already squirming in my uncomfortable seat by the time he was going on about how African girls only want white men because they go ‘downtown’ (if you don’t know what that means - research that is what Google is for). Then it got downright hilarious when he offered to show me what the fuss was all about and there I was in stitches holding on the luggage metal bar for dear life. I mean the nerve of some men I cannot even begin to comprehend but well <sigh> they provide a little spice to an otherwise dull life. Next time am mentioning destination, haggling fare, plugging in earphones for some Jazmine Sullivan or Sara Bareilles music and just sitting pretty for the boda ride.