(Boss
+ First Day x Refusal = Fired)
Dear Diary,
Today was my first day as an IT Officer and after several failed
employment searching attempts and taxi journeys in and out of town I totally
deserve it. It was only fair therefore that when I walked into the
administration office that I wore a coral lipstick smile and donned an outfit
that would not look out of place at a Wall Street office. The sun was sunshine,
the birds were singing etc (I forget how that song goes). I was Muhammad Ali ready
to sting like a bee and fly like a butterfly. I was going to crash this job.
The snobbish secretary waved me towards a door and knocking
meekly I entered the Executive Director’s Office. With his back slightly turned
to me, staring through the venetian blinds was a bespectacled giant-of-a-man
with a slight tummy pouch looking every inch the boss. I sat before I was
invited to (the four inch heels were killing me) and we fell into a bit of
tete-a-tete. So when my new boss got up, turned the blinds down, turned the key
on his door, held out his hands to help me stand up I sensed no danger. That
was until he grabbed my derrière, stealthy unzipped my skirt, fumbled around my
décolletage all the while trying to stick his tongue through my clenched teeth
(the man clearly didn’t know that kissing had been invented). At this point you
are probably asking what I was doing.
On the precipice danger of falling over on my unstable heels
I found myself unwillingly holding onto this very disgusting man. Using his arm
as leverage I gained stability and shoved him away. He was smiling! The fool
was smiling and I wanted to punch him just to wipe the smirk off his face. Pretending
like nothing happened he handed me the appointment letter and dismissed me. Did
I forget to mention he is an old friend of my father? The man, you see, has no boundaries or
limitations.
I strolled to the IT Office in a surreal bubble. I was
furious and still fighting to comprehend what had ensued. The ICT Manager was
friendly (thank goodness), the orientation a breeze and the day was on track of
getting better when my phone started ringing incessantly. For the next 20
minutes I swiped call button left until the caller showed up. Surprised by the
sudden presence of the ‘Big Boss’, my other boss hurried forward like an eager
weasel, bowing (and scraping?) to receive him. The man was treated like an
apparition worthy of adoration.
I was relieved when he made a sign to leave but as fate
would have it it he beckoned me to walk out with him. Bile rising in my throat
I forced my legs that felt like stones to budge. “I was hoping we rendezvous
later and come up with an arrangement” he said and like a bimbo I smiled and
nodded. This man was clearly delusional and out of his mind. My first lunch
break found me hailing a taxi back home. Later that night over dinner I told
the folks in-matter-of-fact way that I and that job were incompatible. The look
of disappointment of my father’s face had me blurting out the entire anecdote.
It was not worth it to look like the failed & ungrateful child.
While I narrated the incident, my parents’ faces were devoid
of emotion. Let’s just say after there was my Papa foaming at the mouth, making
a late night phone call and hurling English-Runyankole profanities. My mother
just hugged me and took me to bed. Sexually assaulted on the first day was
certainly not how I had seen my day going.
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